22~22
As I opened a new blog post I realized that 22, my age, and favorite number, is a power number and also that the number on my sons shirt is a 22 too! lol <3
Well lets start with some background before I get too into my 'NOW' moments, as I have had many many many of these. First off, I was born in the mountains in Washington and grew up with little to almost no 'modern' technology. We did not have a fridge & freezer, no microwave, no air conditioning... We didnt even have indoor plumbing and electricity...This may sound extreme to some people, but at the time I knew it was the right place for me and I did not crave any of the city life. I enjoyed it, at the neighbors, or on an occasional trip to town- but it was not a part of my everyday life. Plants, Animals, Candles or lamps for light, Wood stove for heat, the natural aroma of forest & flowers, THIS is what my life on a daily basis consisted of. And I loved it. I miss it now. But it is the memories I miss and not the actual being there. The beauty of the peace and tranquility, it was simply put *Amazing*...
While the natural beauty and internal questions did make some sense, I was so confused as to WHY I was growing up in a home where I was continuously takin advantage of and hurt by so called "family friends" and then nothing happening as if it was suppose to be that way. Well, it was. I simply didnt know it then.
While I know now what I went through has more meaning than just any 'past life karma' it was me, incarnating into this body at the time I planned and being put into betrayal and fear and anxiety. I was testing my own strength, testing my knowledge, and pushing myself to grow.
I can now look back and understand alittle better as to why I went through so much. I know I arranged it all long before coming here in this incarnation, so I really have no one to blame for any of my past, and while I would say 'except myself' that isnt entirely true either, because there is a certain balance to what we choose, yes we have free will, we can override what we 'can' do with what we 'want' to do, but it is not always in our best interest. comfortable is easy, it is the uncomfortable that people are fearful of and this is why we must push ourselves to the boundaries of comfort, stepping into the uncomfortable areas in our life to really reflect... Look back... See... Remember.. Can you?!?!?
That is all for now... I may post more later, or simply add to this one.
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If you FEEL the need to write so if the idea has came to you then you should in fact do just that. this is where you might say anything random or not. for you may think it random but i can tellyou how it relates to me and i can relate it to you, you can relate it others ways and tell me i am wrong but we are all right, we are all write. life is an illusion as language is an illusion of expression. we learn to write cause its whats write write? society TEACHES us to do this cause we think it SHOULD be thats what our PARENTS wanted us to do. on earth. BUT my momma hated school didnt think we needed TAUGHT anything for she said we knew what we needed but if we wanted to know SHE would TEACH us. she has talked to me and i brokd down crying when she TALKED to me, she let me HEAR her voice cause that is what i truly wanted. for 11 yrs. for half my life. i had her. i knew her. then she was gone. and the rest of my life i spent wishing shed come back, but i knew she couldnt COME BACK it would be reincarnate, yes but not HER different body. body is illusion. her ashes are within 10 feet of me as i write this truth of what is write. for nothin gis write. its an illusion. for momma told me so. BIG DOGS.. because mom said so. SO BE IT. as i will so mote it be? me o it mote, so mote it be. SO BE IT. SOBE ONE SO BE ONE. lizard love baby. yes a drink of immortality. drain a lizard drink some truth accept it works and it WILL accept you HAVE the money you NEED cause you cant always get what you want but if you try tri trinity you will suck'seed or succeed. for you are my greatest illusion as i am your greatest illusion. white wedding of illusion. IDOLize that billy boy. <3 peave day two-day <3 321123 <2 peave day two-day <3 5 in family 3 trinity as 1 whole