i was going to post a quick few sentences to touch bases on what i have been trying to speak verbally for over a week. i have changed. life is a continuation of Divine choice, thought, energy, Love. I AM.

i feel the need to ellaborate on my connection with Love, i have always been a very loving being and even as a baby in human form i was put into situations where i was (from a third demensional view) abused and takin advantage of sexually and faced with severe pain and suffering emotionally, mentally physically and psychologically, tho not spiritually.

Let me explain further. One. we can all beleive in our own interpretation of One, corret?

... Ask yourself DO you have some form of a recollection of what 'one' means? if you think of the numberical language 'digit' of 1... then yes you beleive in Oneness. this is as simple as i can explain it.

to continue, "insert music quote 'one is the loneliness number that you'll ever see' " .................. (first time i have done that but the line came across as the music in my mind as i wrote it, i will in the future further explain how i have connected all things, knowingly but subconciously i have remembered it and not on a concious 3rd world view- for it does not exist here... **note i am SERIOUSLY coming up with this as i write. i have always questioned things both big an small when noticing patterns and i have at times just wrote EVERTHING off but after 22 years and synchronicities getting so close, down to the second.. i must start writting for i have waited long enough.***  ................on eis the loneliest number youll ever see because one is what you 'see' physically you see things as one individually and spiritually you see things as ONE because YOU ARE ONE. this adds to 22. let me further explain 22. 11 1+1 is a doorway it creates 2 unity, duality-polarity if you will. north and south "pole", up & down, left & right, mom & dad, sister & brother, male & female, "in"dividual, 'in' divide' dual' ONE individual is one. ive never looked that up but with all ive recently only had the timing to look at i must haste and make waste no more for namaste is waiting. 22 it is time. 1 one. 1 + one = 2 dual, 22 the entrance into the other realms. master numbers if you choose to call them. i would like to bet there is a 'theory' recorded somewhere by someone even if they were considered by mainstream terms as 'crazy' i am sure they recorded the 'in di vid ual'  ohhh in, one- di- 4 for some reason i dont know 4s connection yet but the 'pattern' is that, a pattern, the way it should be, how we choose 2,4,6, we go 2 by 2, noahs ark refference, light & dark, god goddess, positive negative, ) (sorry i mustnt not document anymore this may seem gargled but anyone interested will know what they are reading for they are ready to understand it, if you read this and can follow you MUST PAY ATTENTION please i beg of you, i beg of I, I beg of US, of ONE< we must keep focused on what WE WANT for if you want pain and suffering think of a future where you are unhappy nothing works and you dont get anywhere, then THIS is what YOU will experience...

but I am choosing to see to experience to beleive the better. We all beleive something better CAN be acheived it is simply asking if we CHOOSE we want it NOW, there is no future you do not create yourself and there is no reason to dwell on the past unless you want there to be, if you think of your past it is because you have some lessons to realize. depression, anger, fear, you have something you have learned that you must recognize to continue. do not deny this. or do. it is your choice. our choice. but you will see that what you think is soon what is, and you must harness what you want by focusing on it, this WILL BE HARD for from a physical plane 3rd demensional view it is the emotions you feel, hurt, pain, anger, sadness, greif, loss, guilt, shame, dissappointment- they are what what hold you here and keep you from ascending with us, those ready, this time is NOW. you know who you are. but will you accept it or deny it. will you choose to experience love and light or dark fears? ...there is but two emotions LOVE and FEAR. we each experience what we want that is why GOD WILL NEVER GIVE YOU MORE THAN GODKNOWS YOU CAN HANDLE, you set yourself up to have this experience rightnow, how do you feel? or rather  ..''and now tell us, prey, how does this make you feel?"... flash of anger at that phrase? no?... you can accept or deny it, all words spark both LOVE and FEAR, for it is ONLY our perception of the experience as good or bad. if it is good, it is LOVE, if it is bad, IT is fear, but really, it is us, we are LOVE we are FEAR we are the CREATOR. again, individual. ONE.

**intercept, ok i will not stop i will continue**

the past is a simulation of our thoughts as played out in the NOW and stored in our vast Akashic Records. it is the 'part' of our library we call conciousness that we can recall at will. well in truth we can recall it all at will but we doubt our will, we fear the -no not unknown, i agree- the un'accepted' as it is not view as 'good' again release all polarities. this is hard and i still am not sure how i can sit here and write that while my earliest memory was of being held at knifepoint while being sexually molested in front of 2 siblings whom i am sure have no recollection (by imediate recall) of this event, but with focus, "hyme' resonates a certain distaste within you, within us, does it not? hmm hold that you do not know the 'moment' i am speaking of but somehow you know this 'time' i am speaking of is not in the norms of what is defined as 'good' or 'ok' to happen to a young girl of under age 4, correct?... knifepoint, molestation, sibling audience... you feel disgusted do you not? but yet i was that girl, ---------------STOP EDITING ***ok sorr- i will not apoligize for being ME> *namaste*-------- excuse me for that brief intermission i was letting my mind wander, lol, to get back to business... i am. I AM that little girl who was forced to remain silent, who while i felt guilty of literally being intears while telling my mother no that no man had sexually hurt me, the ones who got caught, to this day, the only ones are the ones who have been so ridden with guilt they have accepted and released the knowledge of their own free will and let themselves be caught. the rest are mostly gone from the vessel they used to teach me what i needed to understand. thank you to all who endured i am sure that my pangs of looks innocently staring at you wondering why you wanted to hurt me as it is only within this one week, maybe one month, (11, hmm, 1+1, i cannot decipher if it was within the last week or month i have not been soul searching thus way for more than a month so within the 2' dual boundaries ) this must have been difficult to inflict such pain and it is no wonder you almost all were already old enough 'in human age' and with enough 'good karmic trust' built up to even you out before your departure from physical realm, tho i am sure some of you had to remain in teh 3rd world and reincarnate to continue to resolve the karmic debt created by this lesson of 'life' i am leanring from looking back in retrospect on the days where i felt the most pain and suffering. it was to cross the threshold by the 'time' I was expected to, which again i imposed-I imposed this timeline because I knew it was attainable and that there was no 'time' to be wasted, I chose the quickest way to spiritual awakening and fulfillment I could to be here to help Gaia. thank you. for helping me.

i have again run amuck and continued my explaination further into other areas of converse that i was attempting to refrain from, then again i suppose by choosing attempting it is the 'excuse' i need to blame myself for writting more and have now added more, tho this i do feel needs explaining as others are doing the same and need my guidance, so - YOU- dear soul spark, forgive me, forgive us, for we have trailed off again.

it is not the time to just 'read' and skim' the contents of this, you ahve done this too long. focus. the days of 'loitering' in the 3rd demension are over for you, they have passed into your past and you need to AWAKEN. you KNOW you have a purpose, you KNOW you WANT peace love happiness unity getting along, caring, sharing, all is as it should be, correct? so focus on it, if you can do nothing else, do not try to 'let go' of anything, the guilt the shame the low self esteeem anythin gyou feel might hinder you, yes you may RELEASE it but do not try to focus on it, simply write anything you want to rlease down, physically write on paper any way on any paper you want then burn it. as you light and watch the paper burn think of what you DO want, DO NOT i repeat DO NOT think of 'i need to stop thinking of this stuff i release this stuff & then realize the paper is burnt up, do not hesitate, as soon as it lights, or even start a picture in your mind before hand and then simply bring the 'feeling' of what you want into the moment when you see the flame touch the paper, flame + paper = burning --think of the way you want others to get along, happily talking chatting friendly the love the unity the ONEness of the whole and yet the INDIVIDUAL unique personality of us each, the feeling, liken the vibrations of the love you feel to that of the orgasm you acheive when making passionate love to someone, not sex, but sacred bond influenced love - you may or may not have experienced this, if you are unsure, think of the tingling feeling you get when you are about to climax during 'sex' as you know it, if you are a virgin, think of the sensation if you like when people play with your hair, does your mother run her fingers through your hair as if to 'calm' your mind? it is the touch. the sense. it is the physical. the aspect of 'love' is the vibration that we feel. high vibrations feel warm, like the sun, they can heat you and make you uncomfrtable if you are not used to the vibrations (so be aware to be 'concious' when you open this gateway or portal into the knowledge you will uncover). where low vibrations feel cold, like ice. (polar oppposites, see the duality there?...again 2) but yet 1 because you cannot have one without the other, hot-sun-heat-water is liquid, ice-cold-hard, but you cannot have the ice without first water to be able to make it, have you heard the expression 'scared stiff' FEAR is the ICE of love. love is warm and inviting it is nurturing and caring where FEAR is doubt of itself. of ourself. of yourself. of MYself. ONE>

i must end this as my physical vessel hurts and i have earthly duties still that require attention (family work friends, you cannot just 'leave' everything you know, it is a shift, a transition, you must choose to change --- be the change you wish to see in the world--- i will write again later.

to post my original thought, i will say it this way, i love all the same. no ONE individual (in-divide-dual ) of US is more or less important than the other. sexuality is that of our 'likeness' to the 'godself', we are differents 'sex' male + female, but the expression is based on that our peception of 'sexuality' is based on 'sex' male or female and the expresssin of each through love... that is the best deffinition at this time i can comprise. however i can ellaborate more. we express ourselves by our sexuality through homosexual, one sex behavior or bisexual behavior two sex behavior. if we are one-sex homosexual we date the 'other' sex we are aligned with. if we are female and align with male we date male. if we are female and align with female then we are term 'lesbian' but it is still of 'one sexuality' prefference, if male aligned with male you are 'gay' but still one sexuality, male aligned with female dates female. this is what i CAN say. you can view this any way YOU CHOOSE to view it, and take it as you CHOOSE to take it but part of it, will resonate with you, within us- or I-, and you will know SOMETHING in this is true... you may not know to what extent. but something is.